This Week in Movies!

This week, I've seen a total of 0 movies at the theater. However, would I let that preclude me from reviewing a series of hot new films that just barnstormed America? Others have done it, quite successfully. Thus, my capsule reviews:

Guess Who? An update of the Tracy/Hepburn classic Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, but probably best known in studios as Untitled Mac/Kutcher Buddy-Comedy Vehicle/Box-Office-Gold. I'm waiting for the DVD, as I'm sure it will include extra bonus scenes of Bernie Mac's eyes bulging with incredulity. But can Ashton Kutcher bring the level of gravitas in the role that Sidney Poitier originally filled? Well, he can bring Sandler-esque volatility, at least.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. I believe this one was originally pitched as a "Silence of the Lambs comedy... without all the serial killers." And heck, no one likes serial killers, and The Silence of the Lambs won Oscars back in the day. Plus, Ernie Hudson!

D.E.B.S. A poignant biopic about Eugene V. Debs, the early 20th century Socialist Party presidential candidate. A mesmerizing story told in flashbacks from the Atlanta prison where Debs resided, offering a glimpse into how much our cultural landscape has changed; in particular, when radical politics flourished in the populist plains states. Robert Duvall turns in a particularly chilling performance as the titular character, with a cameo by Bob Novak as President Warren Harding.

Er, wait. Actually, this appears to be a movie knock-off of She Spies, which was a TV knock-off of Charlie's Angels, which was a movie knock-off of the original Charlie's Angels. Film School 101 will often postulate that latent lesbianism and schoolgirl outfits draw better crowds than ancient labor leaders. I suppose, for once, they were right.

Next! Will Sin City be a Win City? Will Beauty Shop be a Beauty Flop? Will The Amityville Horror be an Amityville ... Pile of Crap? Find out next week!