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It appears that the era of cool Super Bowl commercials is at an end. Last Sunday, I had my checklist all set up, and disappointment reigned supreme. No flatulence, no CG characters voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, no puppets, no bold proclamations of spending $2.4 million, and no fatuous references to Chuck Norris. All we had was LeBron James hawking Bubblicious of all things. And commercials for the TV show "24", which featured a government official character blatantly mispronouncing "nuclear".
I would've preferred a mix of old-world and new-world marketing. Maybe something like:
| 1984, The Sequel | |
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0:15. Young, lithe, voluptuous yet athletic blonde heaves a sledgehammer in slow motion, releasing it like a discus. Sound effect: "Eyaghh!" (with heavy reverb) |
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0:18. Sledgehammer connects solidly with the crotch of a bald actor resembling Steve Ballmer. Sound effect of ripe cantalope being crushed. Appropriate Celebrity Bonus (ACB™) if the actor is Terry Bradshaw. End scene. |
| It's also possible that one could repurpose the "Wassup" meme from 1999 pretty much in its entirety to promote today's Cialis and Levitra. Then again, it'd probably be deemed family inappropriate if it's a bunch of dudes saying it to each other. Eh, still a work in progress. | ![]() |
Unsurprisingly, comments about c!a1is and other male enhancement drugs will be blocked from kawabunga.com unless they're spelled with l33t-speak. Not that it really matters.
So, the real question: GoDaddy, good or bad? Or should the GoDaddy commercial have been for v1agr4?
Let's run the blockade, shall we? Sildenafil, Vardenafil, Tadalafil.
ALL OF YOU SAD INDIVIDUALS WHO SPEND TIME AT A FORUM DEBATING ABOUT FUCK KNOWS WHAT YOU ALL SHOULD BE PISSED ON THEN RAN OVER THEN REVERESED OVER THEN LIT ON FIRE ROLLED UP IN A RUG AND KICKED OF THE TALLEST CLIFF I CAN FIND
Geezz, someone forgot to take their lithium!
OMFG WAT THE FUCK KINDA COMEBACK WAS THAT I SHALL STICK YOUR LITHIUM UP YOU ASS ALONG WITH A PIECE OF PVC PIPE WITH BARB WIRE INSIDE THEN PULL THE PVC PIPE OUT AND WATCH YOU TRY AND PULL THE BARWIRE OUT OF YOUR ASS BUT YOU PROBABLY WILL CAUSE UR A SO USED TO BEING PENERTRATED ANALY BY YOUR DAD AND HIS MATES WHO COME OVER AND TAKE TURNS SHITING ON YOU