Review: Zoo Keeper for DS

This is my first, and probably last, video game review. It's difficult to have an objective point of view regarding video games when the only games you've played over the past 12 months have the word "Revolution" in them. But I'll give it a try with Zoo Keeper for Nintendo DS.

How does one describe Zoo Keeper?

1. Play the Japanese online version. (Note: no knowledge of Japanese language or culture required, take it from me.)
2. Optionally play any of suspiciously similar games out there, like Bejeweled, Bounce Out, Diamond Mine, etc.
3. Remove the music - a cross between Thievery Corporation and Bossacucanova, placed through a Flash 7 filter - and replace with pseudo-retro-8-bit Nintendo music.
4. Now, imagine paying $43 for this.

I'm not sure if that adequately conveys the excitement contained within, however. The stylus offers a new degree of tactility not found in the online versions. Occasionally, the animals throw you sour or pained looks, just like in real life.

The features list also notes the "Highly relevant plot involving an actual Zoo Keeper". Shades of Donkey Kong 3, you might ask? Which essentially revolves around a Mario-like protagonist spraying Donkey Kong in the ass with bug repellent, the giant ape being hooked up to a Rube Goldberg / Freddie Jones contraption that keeps giant beehives aloft. Good thing Nintendo self-corrected in just a few years.

Zoo Keeper still features a despotic, decadent Zoo Boss (who looks vaguely like my high school algebra teacher), giving one a unique vantage point into the inner politics of zoo keeping. Therein lies the moral parable - will you, as the lowly employee, free the animals, or capitulate to the responsibilities to which you were assigned? As with any game, and by "any game" I mean, "your life in a free society", the choice is left to you.

Zookeeper retails for $39.99. Check it out at Amazon!