Creating the California Island

So as the blue states are grappling with the realities of a second Bush win, there comes that brief post-election period where otherwise rational folks plunge into true cartographic fantasy. Some ideas include:

1. California seceding from the US. Somewhat unoriginal, and would inspire the usual reproach normally allocated to Québec. And some in Hawaii are already trying it.
2. Having Canada annex us.
3. Forming the Republic of Cascadia from Washington, Oregon, and Northern California?! At least they got the flag designed.

Interesting ideas, but here's one better - inspired by a 48 hour binge after last Wednesday's Ohio results, where I consumed 20 liters of Mug Root Beer and watched Escape from LA approximately 32 times.

Let's think back to the 1500s. As they approached the Baja California peninsula, the great explorers like Cortes and Drake were certain that California was an island. Mapmaking monks slavishly echoed these sentiments. History and geography alike have proven them all wrong, but were they not really all visionaries?

Behold, the new map of the mythical island of California! All it would require is a lot of digging (job creation, anyone?) and a lot of non-conventional explosives. Hopefully not simultaneously. It took America 35 years to build the Panama Canal, which was 51 miles. So... this would take a little longer.

But still, it ends up creating a fertile valley for both inland California, Nevada, and Arizona. Thousands upon billions of acres of arable land and lucrative ocean front property are now open to both countries, improving all economies involved. Some negative nellies would complain of the submerged land, but hey, in the process we somehow negotiated a deal to annex Baja California from Mexico. Also, the unique and closed ecosystem will create weird flora and fauna that'll probably end up eating all of us.

Now, I'm not talking straight-up secession here. I'd still prefer Lincoln on my $5 bill as opposed to, say, Michael Milken or Peter Fonda. And to be honest, Bush and several other Presidents would've finished all their terms by this point. But I digress.

And of course, Californians are not the only benefactors. Las Vegas would enjoy a consistently temperate Mediterranean climate for once. Unless of course, hurricanes start popping up. And irreparable tectonic plate damage. In which case, my bad. I really sucked at SimCity, mind you.

Also, this project probably will do something about Mono Lake. Man, what a marvelous food chain. If the overpowering smell of brine shrimp wasn't bad enough, they had to add swarms of brine flies. While, of course, leads to swarms of gigantic sea gulls. Great stuff.