Condi Rice, will you go out with me?

So the election is over, Powell has announced his resignation, and President Bush has appointed Condoleezza Rice as his new Secretary of State. So what was the press abuzz about? Well, since her personal life is relatively clean and free of scandal, they've instead decided to discuss Ms. Rice's lack of a personal life.

The Guardian basically writes up a portrait of Ms. Rice as a brainy spinster:

As national security adviser for four years, Ms Rice has been indispensable and constantly available. She has no other life, has never married and a handful of dates with eligible men organised by well-meaning friends have led nowhere romantically.

She spends many of her weekends at Camp David with the president, watching baseball and football and doing jigsaws with the first family. Her only time off appears to be occasional sessions playing the piano with a classical music group in Washington.

"Doing jigsaws with the first family" at their retreat? What is this, Citizen Kane? But as I read further, when she accidentally referred to the President as her husband, the words Work-Life Balance suddenly shot to the forefront. And I was intrigued.

There's been talk in the past to set up bachelor politicians on dates, including Ralph Nader and Dennis Kucinich. Well, if you're reading this, Condi, I would personally like to ask you out to dinner. I also hear that The Incredibles was quite good.

Please take a look below at the special Compatibility Matrix I created, and you may be pleasantly surprised by my credentials:

	Condi	Brian	Compatible?
Age:	50	27	Maybe
Gender:	Female	Male	Yes!
Ethnicity:	Minority	Minority	Yes!
Height:	5'3"	5'5"	Yes!
Current location:	Washington, DC	Sunnyvale, CA	Maybe
Fluent in:	4 languages	1 language, almost	Maybe
Musical accomplishments:	Pianist; dueted with Yo-Yo Ma	Pianist; knows disturbing amount of John Tesh's music	Yes!
Physical activities:	Renowned figure skater	Can type 80-90 WPM	Yes!
Previous occupations:	Provost, Stanford University	Art student, UCLA	Maybe
Voted for in 2004:	George Bush (presumably)	John Kerry	Maybe
Friends include:	Dick Cheney, ChevronTexaco	Internet celebrities	No
Enemies include:	Doves	Javier, this one kid who pushed me into a puddle in 2nd grade	Yes!
Annual salary:	$175,700	Less than $175,700	Maybe
Boldest statement I've made:	"We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud."	"Verdana -2 is far more readable than Arial -1."	Yes!
Conversation starters:	The "October Revolution" in the former Soviet Union	Karaoke Revolution	No

Let me know when I can call to make reservations.