Decision 2004: Bush Debate Emoticons

Didn't you wish that the Internet's current lexicon of IM and email smiley faces matched the complex gamut of emotions displayed by our elected officials? Here are six such examples, as conveyed by President Bush in the last couple of presidential debates.

Spry

Key combination: :D
Context used: Asking for rebuttal, without a planned rebuttal. Eagerly invoking the name Aleksander Kwasniewski - having not found an adequate spot to insert the presidents of Latvia and Azerbaijan in yet.

Wink

Key combination: ;)
Context used: Amorous or conspiratorial expression. Intrigue factor increases tenfold if opponent is in the midst of discussing nuclear proliferation.

Blinky

Key combination: ;;;;;;)
Context used: Represents hard drive activity as Bush plucks out Dred Scott from head for brilliantly salient reference. Was also used by Dan Quayle in 1988 as scathing comeback to Lloyd Bentsen's "Jack Kennedy" quip.

Scowl

Key combinations: >:(, :-L
Context used: "First of all, of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that."
Can also precede: Making Charlie Gibson eat those reading glasses of his.

Blank

Key combinations: :O, 8-(
Context used: Doing SAT analogies in head to prepare for response, ex: facile : capable :: vociferously : intensely.
Can also follow: Karen Hughes going to the can, leaving mic open.

The Half-Smile

Key combination: :-S
Context used: Working hard (and its various permutations.) Summoning Folksius, the mighty god of down home Southern charm.