The Godfather of the Modern Internet

Ask yourself, "Who is the Godfather of the Modern Internet?" Depending on your level of nerdiness, you may come up with answers like... Berners-Lee. Brin & Page. Nielsen. Bezos. Well, you're wrong on all of them.

No, the real answer is Don LaPre. You may remember this affable young man from the mid 90s, when he barraged late night cable TV with his hour(s)-long, relentlessly hypnotic infomercials. Here are a couple of facts that corroborate my claim:

1. Don LaPre's secret to success was "placing tiny little ads in newspapers."

2. The hearts of Google's AdWords and Overture's product suite lie in placing tiny little sponsored links on search results pages and online newspapers.

3. All three networks rely on astoundingly large reach to ensure profitability and relevance.

4. For a little while in the late 90s, when he was promoting his amazing Vitamin Pill, Don appeared onscreen with his pretty sounding board, Internet celebrity Cindy Margolis. The anagram of Cindy Margolis is "My consigliere*." Coincidence?!

*Actually, it's ... "My consigliar...d." Also note that this whole article is weak satire.