Movies I Don't Get: Braveheart

Like pretty much all other Mel Gibson movies of the 90s, Braveheart (1995) stands as being one of those ultra-odyssean movies that are comprised solely of climaxes and falling actions. Every thirty minutes, you're already like, "Ahhh, this movie's about to end," and start to pack your things. But it goes on. For another two hours. Maverick. Ransom. The Patriot. They're all like this.

So here's my vision of the perfect ending to Braveheart, which would've cut at least an hour off the running time:


Wallace (at the Battle of Falkirk): They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!!!


(Freeze on Gibson, fade into a green duotone. Incidental bagpipe music starts playing. Text rolls on, accompanied with a voice-over that sounds suspiciously similar to Martin Sheen.)

Narrator: William Wallace continued his brave struggle against the English army for another seven years. However, he was captured in 1305 in Glasgow and subsequently executed. Regardless, he valiantly set the stage for the independence of Scotland, which lasted well until its eventual absorption into the United Kingdom. Years later, an Australian actor would stage Wallace's brutal evisceration and death, which would garner $200 million worldwide.

Wallace (echo): FREEDOM!!!
05:28 PM 13 Jul 2004

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Comments

hahaha... this is funny....

- George C 01:50 PM 19 Jul 2004

im scottish and that film is about our independence so feck the lot of you.

- Anonymous 03:29 AM 09 Jun 2005

yeah feck you americans

- Anonymous 03:30 AM 09 Jun 2005

from hills and farms the call to arms was heard by one and all and from the glen came brave young men to answer scotlands call

- Anonymous 03:31 AM 09 Jun 2005

twas long ago we faced the foe the old brigade and me and by myside they fought and died that scotland might be free

- Anonymous 03:33 AM 09 Jun 2005

I'm American, and please don't generalize. Some people just do not get freedom. William Wallace did what we all wish we were doing in life, following our heart, doing whats right, and resisting compromise. (After learning about his history I pretty much wished I was Scottish)

Disclaimer: Anyone looking to criticize life will waste a lot of time. Look for all that is good, learn from everything, and do all you can to help everyone.

- Brandon 12:49 AM 09 Feb 2007

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