April 2004

Insert Work Plug Here

So what have I been up to lately? Well, the product I've been working on for the past year or two, Yahoo! Messenger, came out with a new version! (Granted, it's in beta, which means it's not totally official. Still, try it out and submit feedback!)

What did I work on? I'm the visual designer on the project, so I work primarily on the look and feel - that is, the overall aesthetics, the layout and interface design, and "skins". I also did a couple icons and illustrations here and there, including ol' Mr. Smiley on the right, and some other stuff. (Alas, I don't work on the animated emoticons or IMVironments.) There are some pretty darn nifty features with this release, like built-in LAUNCHcast and classic Yahoo! Games.

What else has been keeping me occupied? Well, I'm memorizing the Super Mario Bros theme on the piano, so I can end up like this guy.

Celebrity Math #4

Hmm, the last Celebrity Math actually got sent around a bit. This one's not as timely, but terribly hard to ignore.

Them Crazy Transformin' Eyes

The freaky thing about old Transformers commercials was that one segment where they get a kid to lip-sync the classic tagline: "Robots in Disguise" (which was, naturally, in a robot voice.) In earlier commercials, they merely made a snarling kid's eyes glow an unearthly green. But in later commercials, miraculous advancements in video editing made it possible for a kid to "transform" into a given robot. Scary, yet effective.

McAbercrombie

Call me cynical, but the latest online marketing campaign by McDonalds strikes me as even more odd than their "I Am Asian" site.

Observe: The sullen young man on the right, pensively sipping a Hi-C Orange™ as he carelessly brushes his well-conditioned locks off his acne-free brow. The girl in the center, munching on fries as she engages in an intimate discussion of her various lifestyle traits. The man on the left, clearly dealing with a ravaging bout of indigestion.

Why is McDonalds borrowing imagery from the likes of J. Crew and Abercrombie & Fitch? Why don't they stay more true to their roots, and have more pictures of guys like this?

OK, to be fair, this is actually an In-N-Out customer gorging on a 20x20. And judging from prior criticism of their marketing efforts, it reflects a refreshing change of pace for McDonalds (the 560-calorie Arch Deluxe of 1996 notwithstanding.)

Doki Doki Panic

Ah, the halcyon days of yesteryear, when the dulcet sounds of Super Mario Bros 2 filled the air as the sun waned behind the trees. Yet I remember opening an issue of Nintendo Power and discovering, in Helvetica Condensed 7pt, that Super Mario Bros 2 was actually a reskinned version of a Japanese game called Doki Doki Panic.

(Cue sound effect of record player needle scratching)

Wha-what?! Luckily, a couple publications bravely give us the whole low-down on this sorry, sordid affair. Additionally, some sites offer a side-by-side comparison and one site even provides the game itself for download.

That said, Doki Doki Panic seems to have served as inspiration for other games, including the excellent Toki Toki Boom. And you have to love the first cover of Nintendo Power, with the clay Mario.

Why I'm Not a Political Cartoonist

While I was on the drive up from LA last night, I had this "brilliant" idea of combining two newspaper features: the political cartoon and the comic puzzle. What I want to do is create a political cartoon that would challenge the reader to find all the reasons why it's a terrible political cartoon:

Download a printable version (PDF, 150k)

Celebrity Math #3

Hey, I'm actually topical this time around.

Asian Men Within the Fashion Venn

So over the past week, there's been a lot of talk about this infographic in Details magazine, titled "Gay or Asian?"* That it renders straight Asian men incapable of ever equaling our non-Asian counterparts in the satisfaction of women, Asian or otherwise, because our lifestyle so closely follows gay stereotypes. What's it leading to? Petitions? Demonstrations? Yahoo! Groups?!

Well, perhaps a simple Venn diagram will help quell the flames, and maybe offer a different perspective on why this article isn't worth all the spite and hatred:

Perhaps because Details found that many Asian males embrace the "metrosexual" lifestyle (to borrow an overloaded yet positive term from 2003), they - in a somewhat well-intentioned attempt at humor - try to paint parallels between Asian males and gay stereotypes. But that does not preclude a portion of Asian men from being gay, were we to follow trends of the general populace. And of course, the persistent, misogynist objectification of Asian women in America will continue to perpetuate the effeminizing/desexualizing of Asian men within the same construct, etc. etc. etc.

As you can see in my infographic, I'd like to think of myself to be at least somewhere in the metrosexual Asian field, given that I like Macintoshes and bathe at least once daily. And ladies are pretty. Mailboxes, too.

* Did anyone think this article was initially about Keanu Reeves?

Celebrity Math #2

Alright, so no one's seen Rampage in years. So why not buy the Midway Arcade Treasures and jog your memory?

Stock Photo Fun: Teddy Bears

A couple years back I bought one of those budget boxes of stock photos and clip art - something like $50 for 600,000 images. Mostly I got them as placeholders, yet a good portion of them are real head-scratchers. Originally I asked of these pictures, "What the hell could anyone do with these things?" Luckily I now know the answer: I'll post them in my new blog!

For example, they have exactly 100 poorly lit photographs of teddy bears (yes, the category is called "Teddy Bears"). And, not just any teddy bears, mind you - they're in strange costumes and themes. Here are some highlights (note: no color correction):

	Marriage between two bears. It's too bad that the plastic figures behind are human.
	The folly of celebrity. The bikini'ed bear is strange enough, but the weird stock photos in the background add a certain extra voyeuristic edge. I see ice skating, a man in a chair wearing shorts, and two hands pulling up a sock?
	Bear in a diaper. Sounds simple enough, but look closer. Why is the bear wearing a stethoscope? And why is the milk bottle tucked into its diaper?
	Sick bears. Appears that the bear's wearing briefs on its head. And it has an awful huge bedpan to fill.
	Jazzercise. Bears in leotards in contorted positions. Foxy ladies on LPs in the background. Calvin Klein-styled wood-paneled backdrop. What's not to like?
	Teddy Wearing a Teddy. Oh yes, it does get steamier even still. Check out that skimpy negligee and pearl necklace. Don't gaze too deeply into her eyes; try to escape the reverie.
	It's a Boy! It's a Girl! Oh, and Dad died.

What will my coda be?

Okay, now it's time to start talking about really heavy issues, like death. One particular aspect of death has been bugging me for a while, and it's based on a simple question: "What's the song that will be running through your head right before you die?"

At first it seems like an insignificant, trivial question to ask, but then it starts to loom over you. You see, you'll want this last song to be an eloquent and well-constructed summation of your years on this planet. This is the big send-off. It has to be damn good. And, your brain may well likely start getting deprived of oxygen at around this time, which may start clouding up such matters.

So my central fear is that instead of thinking about the last bars of, say, The Beatles' "A Day in the Life", I'll have Boy Meets Girl's "Waiting for a Star to Fall." Or instead of The Beach Boys' "God Only Knows" or Satie's "Gymnopedie", I'll have DeBarge's "Rhythm of the Night." I can't leave like that, and am not sure how to remedy this. The emergency injection of a random Hall & Oates song might cleanse the palate, but I'm still worried.

So here are my top seven Songs I Definitely Would Not Want to Have Running in My Head Moments Before I Die (But Probably Can't Help):

1. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record), by Dead or Alive
2. I Like Steak and Mushrooms! (the Skillet Sensations song from Applebee's)
3. The Glamorous Life, by Sheila E.
4. Leon Neon, as discussed earlier
5. That part of They Might Be Giants' "Fingertips" song where the guy's singing, "I'm Having a Heart Attack" (extra points if I'm actually having a heart attack)
6. Get Out of My Dreams (Get Into My Car), by Billy Ocean
7. Do the Mario, by Captain Lou Albano

« March 2004 | Main | June 2004 »